Thursday, August 17, 2006

There are reasons why muffins are not used in military action. The following are some of them.

Muffins do not make good grenades. If you were to throw a muffin into a nazi bunker, it would mearly land on the floor and one of the nazis would say, "Sweet! Blueberry!" which translated into German would probably sound something like, "Mein Fëur! Ich hassen der blubërry!!". A muffin does not make a good landmine. If an enemy were to step on a landmine, it would explode and kill him and his party. However, if an enemy stepped on a muffin he would just look down and say, "Hey guys! I stepped on something poofy and delicious!" and then they would probably walk away, or eat it, or pick it up and use it as a grenade. You cannot load muffins into your rifle, and you can't shoot them out of your tank. Muffins make terrible parachutes and you can't see through them like binoculars. If you tried to use a muffin as a walkie-talkie, your friends would probably say, "Dude, you're talking into a muffin" and then they would shoot you because they'd think you'd gone insane. Muffins come in various sizes and flavors, but as you can see, muffins are clearly not meant to be used in military action. I suggest you eat them at home instead because that's what they are good for.

11 comments:

meeeeeee said...

hahahahaha! you're the..weirdest. ;)

(HAH HAH HAH SEE CORY BEAT YOU HAH!)

Father Cory said...

I'm 5/8's positive that you're magic.

(bite me ¬_¬)

Sir Brian The Manly said...

*throws a muffin at Cory*

(ows. that'd hurt.)

shark like a fox said...

how do you KNOW all this about muffins? have you tested it all out? what if you're wrong? I think you should have done a case study.

Sir Brian The Manly said...

I happen to be a muffin master. Testing and case studies really aren't necessary.

Father Cory said...

And I approve, because I taught Brian all he knows about muffins.

Elyse said...

This post is amazing and so true!

Bethany said...

sadly i have no witty comment on brian's weirdness so....you're weird. bet you've never heard that one before, eh?

Brian said...

I hear that at LEAST once every single day, and I'm not even kidding. ;)

Kaits said...

Psssst, kid. You like muffins?


Muffins are the greatest.

shark like a fox said...

hey i missed the "Mein Fëur! Ich hassen der blubërry!!" part last time!! that's the funniest line ever!