Remember kids! Don't wear axe products into assisted living places or the ladies will be all up ons!

ummm...I think the word I'm looking for is....GROSS??

This is suppose to go on your ice cream and stuff. It was right above the Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. >_<

I'm getting back into shape for my antics this Summer. That just means I go outside once in a while instead of sitting inside all day. We went to the Wenatchee Forest for Mother's Day. Let me tell you, being a mother is haaarrrd work! I'm a mother to a little blue parakeet and I have to feed her and change her water like EVERY THREE DAYS or something!! Madre dulce. But somehow, I manage.

Happy Mother's Day, everybody! (that means you too, Cory.)

I'm sitting on the Lucero's dog again this weekend. Hopefully I'll have some exciting adventures but equally hopefully I won't slice my leg open on any barbed wire fences this time.


Now it's time for my Vu review...or my reVU.
It's great! That's all. Well actually it really shines if you're using the Internet because it's a touch screen and all so that's handy. It's not an iphone but I also only paid $150 for it so how do you like them Apples? (I only said that for puns' sake.) The touch screen keyboard takes a looot of getting used to. It's an exercise in patience until you get the hang of it. The battery takes seven years to charge but then it lasts seven years (unless you're watching TV episodes on your phone, then it only lasts 2-3 years.) It sucks for playing games because there's no keypad, so instead you get four screen arrows, one button, two menu buttons, and then you can usually assign your call, clear, and maybe camera buttons for stuff too. Keypad is better though. It'd be hard to play Street Fighter II on this phone like I did with my last LG. ^_^

That's all for now, kids! Come join us next time for another exciting adventure!

I would like to introduce you to my new favorite music video.

The Chariot - Daggers




I would also like to introduce you to my new favorite hot sauce.

I'm going to post a post post-it note on a post that's supposed to have posed a threat to ummm...I need to go to bed.

I decided to make a Sandwich Salad Sandwich

So first I made a sandwich...


And then I diced it and put it in a bowl


And then I made it into a salad


And THEN I put it into a sandwich


And it was actually kind of not bad. How rare!

It is done.

Hey look, it's my $6.00 coat selling for $50.00! =D

I bought this ridiculous coat at Goodwill for like six moneys. It has 3 unzippable layers, an optional fur collar (with a wrap around feature) an inner pocket on the innermost layer, an inner pocket on the outer layer, the middle layer is an optional vest, and the innermost layer has holes under the sleeves so it too can be sleeveless if you so desire. The outer layer also has zippers up the sides because being able to open the sides of your coat is uhhh...important. Either that or the manufacturers had zippers to spare. It also weighs about ten pounds. I'm even pretty sure there are secret passageways I have yet to discover inside this coat! (And fortunately it works well with the Russianadian Hat, eh.)

Here are some bad quality pictures. =D

Normal

Collar wrapped around (o_O)

Giant zipper

Zipper for the Innermost layer

Zipper for the Middle layer

In my days of playing Roller Coaster Tycoon, I used to make a whole bunch of french fry stands with loads of salt. I'd make the fries all free of charge.

Then I made a whole bunch of drink stands for the masses of now-thirsty peoples. I made all the sodas free of charge! People were getting drinks like there was no tomorrow!

Then I made a whole bunch of bathrooms and charged everybody $20.00 to use them.

Aww, marketing. ♥

Ows. I'm busted. =(

This is really gross. Don't look at it.
This is really gross too. Don't look at it either.

I tried to jump a barbed wire fence last night. It wasn't too high but it was too dark. Since I couldn't quite make out just how much of a jump I needed, my leg proceeded to catch on the top wire and I performed something you might see in a really pathetic slap-stick comedy where I landed with the wire between my legs, getting me all tangled up. The only really bad thing that came of it was that one of the blades impaled into my leg and ran about a 3 or 4 inch long slash through it. The biggest downside of all might be the fact it's such a beautiful cut and yet it's in a location where I can't really show people. >_>

Just my luck.

My car is currently dead, I accidentally broke my new camera, and due to another more different accident, I am at this moment mourning the loss of my beloved best friends: The Sideburns.

But other than those catastrophes, things are alright!

The other day I stomped on a fork (on the floor) with my hand held out, and the fork flipped into the air and landed straight into my hand where I caught it. Everything about it was perfect.

Except for the fact that nobody saw it happen and there were no cameras.

*sigh*

The website I stole these from had some bad ones. Which is why I stole the good ones and left the bad ones to rot!! Also they started getting not funny.

If you watch the movie `Jaws' backwards, it's a movie about a shark that keeps throwing up people until they have to open a beach.

If you watch LOST backwards you realize it's the same thing as if you would watch if forward.

If you watch Heroes backwards you realise that it's been getting progressively better over time.

If you watch Friends backwards, Courtney Cox seems to get older somehow. I think it's the hair.

If you watch House backwards, it's still never lupus.

If you watch Rambo backwards, it's Sylvester Stallone healing people with his magical bullet vacuum.

And repairing helicopters with nothing but a bow and arrow.

If you watch Fight Club backwards, you see Ed Norton turn from a crazy streetperson into a successful productive member of society.

If you watch the 1997 version of Episode IV backwards, Greedo shoots first.

If you watch Memento backwards, it makes complete sense.

If you watch the Lord of the Ring trilogy backwards, it's a saga about a little guy who gets a cool ring from a volcano and spends the rest of the films walking home.

If you watch this thread backwards you see it get progressively more funny.

You know what's weird and kind of messed up? When I turned 16 Rosanne started subtracting 10 years from my age to get my REAL age. It caught on, and when I turned 17 I was 7, when I turned 18 I was 8, and so on. But then when I hit 21 everybody started ADDING about 20 years to my age so now they all say I'm 40! Getting old is the shaft, man.

But I'll be okay as long as I don't get fat and lose my acrobatics/coordination. =P

Coraline is one of the best looking stop motion films I've seen. It was so beautiful.

Today was weird. I went into work and there were already people there eating. The first odd thing I noticed was a heart on the board in the advertisement for the drink special. A mocha or something. I thought it was odd because hearts usually represent healthy stuff or something like on Oatmeal containers, and mom doesn't usually use them. I ignored it.
The next odd thing I noticed was that mom was wearing a heart necktie that day. I didn't put the two hearts together, I just thought it was funny that she was wearing a tie. (she'd just bought a bag of ties recently for...some reason. She's mom.)
Later I noticed that mom was giving away brownies to the customers for free. It was odd but I assumed she was just sampling them for feedback or something?
The next odd thing was that we were SERIOUSLY BUSY!! Mom finally had to call Megan in to help, 'cause we were packed for hours and the rush wasn't slowing. I was like, "Man, what a weird day this is! Did people just get their paychecks or something??"

Finally mom said something about it being Valentines Day and I was like, "It's Valentintes Day!!" and they were like, "...yeeeaaah." and slowly but surely as I looked around the room, things started fading into the picture--the hearts, the free brownies, the attire, the tons of people (mostly couples), everything started to make sense!

It was weird, man.
P.S. The stupid thing is I've known all week that Valentines Day was coming up and I still forgot. =\