Assisted Living For A Comedian
I invented this song while washing dishes at the café. >_<



I've got some lovely jokes to tell
I've got some dandy acts
I've got so many things I could do
That could make everybody laugh

But now I am all alone
Sitting here in this old folks home

And the hide-a-bed's doubling over
And my wheel chair's rolling on the floor
And my windows are cracking up
My empty candy jar's begging for more
I'm the funniest man in my house
...But I'm all alone...

Well my wheelchair wheels just began to squeak
And nothing's been going my way
I think it must be the end of the week
'Cause it feels like a sadder day
So I tell more jokes to survive
It seems to be the only thing that keeps me alive

And the hide-a-bed's doubling over
And my wheel chair's rolling on the floor
And my windows are cracking up
My empty candy jar's begging for more
I'm the funniest man in my house
...But I'm all alone...

I could tell you about some wretched medical things
And how the doctors are all dumber than I
'Cause that's all they talk about at dinner time
And it makes me want to die
So I wolf down my food and try not to choke
And then race to my room where I learn more jokes

And the hide-a-bed's doubling over
And my wheel chair's rolling on the floor
And my windows are cracking up
My empty candy jar's begging for more
I'm the funniest man in my house
...But I'm all alone...