I used to really be into "the future" of technology when touch screens were new, keyboards became smooth and silent, and everything started going digital.

However, my opinions have changed over the last year or so. There are some technological advancements I would hate to go back on, mostly ease-of-use (but still customizable) things, such as gmail. And gmail. In fact, I'm not wishing technology would go back in time necessarily, I've just learned that I prefer some things to be less digital and more physical than I used to.

I applaud Wacom tablets and software like Painter and Photoshop, and in many cases they can save a person much pain and suffering. But digital painting will never be the same as the tactile feeling of a pencil in your hand, smudging charcoal around, or seeing each physical brushstroke slowly evolve into an image on a canvas. And digital software can't replace the feeling of scribbling down doodles, ideas, or phrases onto sticky notes or paper scraps, and pinning them to your wall.

I really admire the advances in cellphone and slate technology, but I really would prefer to clack away on a keyboard and click the buttons on a mouse than to poke and swish around a touchscreen. I've daydreamed about owning a kindle, but I never have because I want my books lined up in a shelf where they won't get deleted. I want to see their illustrated covers when I pick them up. I want to let people borrow them if need be. (Though I do wish physical books could have a good search feature.)

I love having all my music organized in a media player so I can access any genre, song, or band at any time, but I still buy CDs because I like the physical presence. I like artwork, I like their names lined up in my shelf, and again I like saying, "Have you heard this? It's awesome. Here, take it with you, go listen to it."

I enjoy technology. I'd just like to appreciate the tactile and tangible things in life and give them the credit they deserve.

"The Whaler" by Thrice

My lover's arms,
they beg me to stay.
But I know the storms,
they will sweep me away.

My daughter's eyes,
they are two tiny seas,
whose water will rise
and then run down her cheeks.

"Father where do you go,
so far out upon the sea,
when are you coming home to me?"
"Darling why do you leave,
as the north wind begins to blow?
Will you be coming home to me?"

The boat and the blade,
they are all that I know;
the sea calls my name,
and so I must go.

And while they still sleep,
I slip out through the door;
but how can I leave,
with my anchors ashore?

"Father where do you go?
It's farther than I can see,
when are you coming home to me?"
"Darling why do you leave,
as the north wind begins to blow?
Will you be coming home to me?"

It's not uncommon for people to dislike Christianity because of the way they've seen alleged Christians behave. While this is understandable, it's also foolish and misguided.

If you want to know what Christianity is you should read the four gospels and get to what Christ was like. Then you'll have a legitimate appreciation or dislike of Christianity.

If you base your view of Christianity on people who call themselves Christians but act like wretched people, that's as silly as saying you hate Christianity because of the way Muslims or Buddhists act. Because if people don't look like, act like, represent, or even want to be like Christ, then how are those people Christians? They can call themselves that all they want but if you don't see Christlike behavior in their lives then you are wrong in forming an opinion of Christianity based off of those people.

Look at Christ instead.

Billy Talent
"White Sparrows"

Today I walked down our old street
Past the diner where we'd meet
Now I dine alone in our old seats
The cold wind blows right through my bones
And I feel like I'm getting old
But I wish I was getting old with you
I held your hand when we took shelter from the rain
She laughed as we picked out our children's names

White sparrows fell from heaven and carried her away
Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray

Her clothes hang in the closet still
The phone sits on the windowsill
And every time it rings it gives me chills
My heart just stopped when I was told
Doctor, doctor, on the phone
Said my love was never coming home
I hold your casket gently walking to the grave
Dark clouds eclipse the sun won't shine again

White sparrows fell from heaven and carried her away
Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray

They gave her one more day
To say the words I couldn't say
I'm crying in pain, crying in pain

And I'm not looking for answers
No, I'm not looking for answers
But dear God, why did you choose her?

White sparrows fell from heaven and carried her away
Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray

They gave her one more day
To say the words I couldn't say
I'm crying in pain (crying in pain)
Crying in pain
Our love will remain
I'm crying in pain

Well kids, the swimming pool green walls are forever gone. They will be missed. But only by me. And not really because the new walls look twenty times better. But the green walls DID give the house uniqueness and personality! In fact I've never seen such walls in any house before, so that was something. Now they're red and tan. Ba-ding!

Christmas is right around the corner and then it will quickly become 2011. Weird. Fall seemed to pass very hastily and my wedding is approaching. I once read that if you don't wear your seatbelt and you hit something at 20-30mph it doesn't seem very fast, but if you picture yourself hitting a brick wall on a bicycle at 20-30mph it really gives you a new perspective on the effects of that speed! That doesn't really have anything to do with my wedding.

Why isn't the guy from Man v. Food dead yet? I think he throws up after every challenge. That's gross.

We are so stupidly helpless when the power goes out. Unless we want to use gas at risk of explosion or poisoning, then if the power goes out nearly everything we use becomes next to worthless. Can't charge cell phones, can't get communication through TV, radio, or computer (once the batteries die anyway,) can't use heating, heat blankets, space heaters can't even heat up things like rice packs 'cause they need a microwave, can't use electrical lights, can't shower with hot water, and can't wash clothes. Basically we'd need to start fires to get anything useful done.

This is all one sentence.


Romans 1 (New American Standard Bible)

Paul, a bond-servant of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart for the gospel of God, which He promised beforehand through His prophets in the holy Scriptures, concerning His Son, who was born of a descendant of David according to the flesh, who was declared the Son of God with power by the resurrection from the dead, according to the Spirit of holiness, Jesus Christ our Lord,through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles for His name's sake, among whom you also are the called of Jesus Christ; to all who are beloved of God in Rome, called as saints: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.


You said a mouthful, Paul.

Tonight was pumpkin carving time again. I decided to display the past 3 carving events since I have the pictures.

2+ years ago

My Spider-Man, Ben's Abstract, and Kristen's Scary Face.

Last year 

Megan was... excited.

 

 

My Guy w/ Hair In His Face, Megan's Freak, and Gerie's Sailing Ship

 This Year

My Pirate, Megan's Hello Kitty, Derek's Jack Skellington, and Gerie's Goldfish

I'm going to take a bunch of embarrassing pictures of people. Then I'm going to host a blackmail exhibit. You better come buy your photo before somebody else does!

So the new movie about my Aunt is coming out: Thor. The fact is, I don't think there is a way to turn Thor into a "believable" live action movie. The Dark Knight and Iron Man were fictional over the top physics defying movies, but they tweaked them just enough that the suspension of disbelief held the audience in the stories, even though they were far fetched. The Joker seemed kind of real, he wasn't just a cartoony guy with makeup. He felt like a psychopath. Iron Man's technology was too far out there but at the same time we could almost see it happening in today's modern world.

I don't think Thor, however, will have that ability to take a fictional world and make it down-to-earth enough that the audience buys it. The story is just too comic-bookish. Therefore, my hope is that instead of them trying to make it believable, they focus instead on believable character personalities, believable conflicts within the silly story, and some AWESOME Asgardian warfare. If we can't identify with the story, I want to at least identify with the characters and their problems, and I want to see some serious godlike beings lay the smack down on some seriously huge bad guys.

I want to see this.

A new one in the sketchbook. Click for larger version.

"Sourthern Aliencore"
8.5 x 11
Graphite Pencils from the Dirty South.

I don't know if this is safe to say as a general statement for most people or if it's just me, but it seems like people go into marriage hoping to avoid divorce. And they go to marriage counseling before (and after) they wed, in the hopes that they'll avoid divorce. As if divorce is this ever-present monster looming over their marriage, waiting to come down at the slightest act of adultery or major blow-up.

The reality is, at least for Christians, that divorce isn't even supposed to be an option. It's not something they should fear and try to avoid, because it's not something that should even be available to them. God designed them to come together as one, never to separate in this life, and as Jesus said, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."

I suppose our reality is, we're a world of sinful people who can essentially do whatever we want in as much as God allows us. So divorce is an option. But I don't want to go into my marriage believing that. For me it cannot be an option, and I don't want to go into my marriage, "Hoping I don't get divorced." I want to go into it knowing that I won't get divorced. And I'll have to have confidence in my wife that she will believe the same.

(aww, we're so cuuuute.)

Just because macs have gotten better over the years doesn't mean they aren't fun to make fun of. Is it proper to end a sentence with, "of"? Also, does end-of-sentence punctuation go inside the quote or outside, using the example of the preceding sentence?

I'm listening to three new Decemberists songs and they're totally laid back and folky. Not sure if I'm digging it. And folky is a peculiar word. Folk. If I ever wrote a folk album I would call it, "Brian vs. the Folkcano." (see, that time I put the end-of-sentence punctuation INSIDE the quotes. I'm not being consistent at all.)

The other thing I tend to wonder (not that there was a first thing) is, have I actually gotten better at spelling over the years, or have I just started using browsers that spell-check for me? Now I'm paranoid that Firefox is the source of my alleged intelligence and it's all just an illusion.

I should probably stop eating food that kills people.

That's all for now.

There’s many who’ll tell you they’ll give you their love,
But when they say "give" they mean "take".
They hang ‘round just like vultures 'til push comes to shove
And take flight when the earth starts to shake.

Someone may say that they’ll always be true
Then slip out the door ‘fore the dawn,
But I won’t leave you hanging on.

Another may stay 'til they find someone new
Then before you know they’ll be gone,
But I won’t leave you hanging on.

No, I won’t won't be that someone.

And come what may, I won’t abandon you or leave you behind,
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
Come what may, I will be standing right here by your side,
I won’t run away, though the storm’s getting worse and there’s no end in sight.

Some talk of destiny, others of fate,
But soon they’ll be saying goodbye,
But I won’t leave you high and dry.

'Cause a ring don’t mean nothing if you can’t haul the weight
And some of them won’t even try,
But I won’t leave you high and dry.

I won’t leave you wondering why.

And come what may, I won’t abandon you or leave you behind,
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
Come what may, I will be standing right here by your side,
I won’t run away, though the storm’s getting worse and there’s no end in sight.

And storms will surely come,
But true love is a choice you must make and you are the one.
That I have set my heart to choose
As long as I live, I swear I’ll see this through.

Come what may, I won’t abandon you or leave you behind,
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
Come what may, I will be standing right here by your side,
I won’t run away, though the storm’s getting worse and I see no end.

Come what may, I won’t abandon you or leave you behind,
Because love is a loyalty sworn, not a burning for a moment.
Come what may, I will be standing right here by your side,
I won’t run away, though the storm’s getting worse and there’s no end in sight.

The new WACOM logo offends me. It genuinely offends me. It is, hands down, the most atrocious logo I have ever seen, and it irritates me that it's being used by a company who sells drawing tablets to DESIGNERS. Tablets that are for drawing so you don't have to use things like powerpoint or ms paint to make your logos!

I know the 2012 Olympics logo was bad, but it is a beautiful work of art compared to the WACOM logo. Somebody needs to put a stop to Wolff Olins work (their website is atrocious too, by the way,) and put an end to this destructive design behavior before it gets out of control! I don't want a future filled with logos plastered everywhere, which were designed with pathetic software in under five minutes! With no thought towards balance, colors, structure, or appeal!

Now, not all of their work is bad. The New York City logo is just whatever. Nothing special but not unappealing. I mean they do some ugly things with it, but the design itself is just fine.

And the idea of the AOL logo intrigues me, to have an invisible name on a white space background, only to be made visible when something passes behind it. Much of the things that pass behind make no sense and can be ugly or stupid, but the idea is interesting.

Unilever looks good.

But WACOM? Really guys??

Psalm 46

 ¹ God is our refuge and strength,
       an ever-present help in trouble.
² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
       and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
 ³ though its waters roar and foam
       and the mountains quake with their surging.
       Selah
 ⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
       the holy place where the Most High dwells.
 ⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
       God will help her at break of day.
 ⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
       he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
 ⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
       the God of Jacob is our fortress.
       Selah
 ⁸ Come and see the works of the LORD,
       the desolations he has brought on the earth.
 ⁹ He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
       he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
       he burns the shields with fire.
 ¹⁰ "Be still, and know that I am God;
       I will be exalted among the nations,
       I will be exalted in the earth."

 ¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
       the God of Jacob is our fortress.
       Selah

It seems people think of the phrase, "I would die for you," as the ultimate expression of love. I tend to think, however, that, "I will love and serve you selflessly in life," is a far more impacting statement. In the vast uncertainty of death, there is a chance that it will be quick and easy. In the certainty of life, however, the prospect of loving selflessly for what might be years is without question one of the most difficult things a person can do!

This leads me to believe that a husband who truly loves his wife and sticks with her through all of life's difficulties, regardless of how much he gets (or doesn't get) in return, is far more deserving of praise and admiration than a 'hero' who would hurl himself into an oncoming train to save a damsel in distress or take a bullet for a beautiful young lady.



"Love is such a mighty long word."
"Love is easier made than kept."
~The Chariot

THRICE
"The Messenger"

Mark me with Fear and Trembling
Send someone else instead
I know my world is ending
I can't repay my debt

Can I carry such a heavy burden?
Can I move when I am paralyzed?
I see a fire behind a heavy curtain
I lean in closer and I close my eyes

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke
And I say, "Here I am, send me."
Lifts my soul, free and so unafraid
"Here I am, send me, send me."
Free and so unafraid
"Here I am, send me."

Mark me with fire and send me
Among the living dead
They cannot comprehend me;
I watch the sickness spread

How can they hear me when their hearts are hardened?
How can they see me when they close their eyes?
So they can tell that I'm an easy target
A wooden saw is quite a way to die

Kiss the coals; breathe in smoke
And I say, "Here I am, send me."
Lifts my soul, free and so unafraid
"Here I am, send me, send me."
Free and so unafraid
"Here I am, send me."

"Here I am, send me."

Stumbled upon my log from my four days of living out of a car in Ferndale, WA.
Also see the photos I took on the trip here.

Day 01: Thursday

• Woke up in car. Raining outside. Not too cold in here though.
• Read Bible. Now making plans for what's next.
• Brushed teeth at McDonald's bathroom. ( o_O ) Got McDouble and water for breakfast. "I'm lovin' it." Haha..
• Went around using camera. Not but four to six pictures later is said low batter. Confused! I charged it before we left! I don't understand.
• Found a coffee shop and plugged in phone and camera. Bought hot chocolate so I wouldn't feel bad about using their electricity. Now feel bad about spending my money. 16oz. Hot chocolate: $2.75. Dang. Don't wanna do that again. Now waiting for stuff to charge.
• Wish I had brought a book to read. Right now I suck at drawing. That happens sometimes.

--

• At  the animal park waiting for camera to charge again. Frustrating but oh well. Very happy to have a camera at all. Got some awesome shots of the turkeys! Think I'll trek back to the tartus (Rav 4) soon.
• Pretending I'm Dr. Who. Complete with umbrella. Need sonic screwdriver though.
• These smoked chedder / Monterey Jack Cheezit Duoz are intense!
• I tried to take a short cut back. Had to go through brush that was taller than me. Half-way through I hit a stream too wide to step over or jump across . Didn't want to go around. Rolled up pants and waded through. ICE. COLD. Knee deep! Didn't realize...
• Made it through. Hiked across an enormous field. Then realized my "short cut" ran parellel to the solid dry road I'd walked earlier and it wasn't far from me. ...oops...
• Tired walking back. Shoulders not used to hours of backpacking. Legs sore.
• Stopped at the dollar store for beef jerky and junk food. The jerky says, "Congratulations! In your hands you hold the world's finest Beef Jerky!" I laughed because it came from the dollar store.
• I'm tired of rain.
• Charged stuff at McD's then took some night pictures.
• Bought a few groceries to last the weekend and now I might read and sleep soon.

Day 02: Friday

• Woke up to strange dreams and noisy garbage trucks. Still kind of dark out.
• Brushed teeth and charged camera and phone at Wood Coffee shop again while reading comic book.
• Spent time with the Lord in Rav 4. Sun is out now. Might sleep more and then see if the buffalo are still at that house Gerie showed me last year. If so, it's photo time again.

--

• It's night now and I'm probably going to sleep in this Best Western parking lot in Bellingham. I did take the buffalo pictures, then went to B-Ham's Best Buy and bought a new camera battery. It works fine now.
• Took some pictures around the Whatcom Campus and then had lunch with Gerie and the two girls she's babysitting.
• Then I got lost and then I went to fairhaven, taking more pictures.
• Now I'm at Bellingham and just got back from a walk downtown. Downhill too. ugh, I'm sore. Sore-ba-dore. I think I'll sleep now.

--

• Got too scared. Too many amtrack cops patrolling the place. Back at Haggen in Ferndale.
• Actually Ferndale scares me too but not as much as Bellingham. It wouldn't be so bad in my car, but I'm in  Gerie's car with no insurance so I'm trying not to encounter cops at all.
• Plus I like the wilderness around Ferndale. Cities have too many people. I like to be in seclusion. I think people scare me more than wild animals. Honestly. Sleep time.

Day 03: Saturday

•  Charged phone and stuff at McD's. Was able to showe at YMCA. Felt kinda weird.
• Parked at Haggen and began adventures. Ended up walking back along road leading to animal park.
• Took pictures in forest and stuff. Also took detour to Fragerance Gardens.
• Glad I did 'cause they had this awesome ridiculously long walkway of wooden planks zigzagging through these really tall bushes and water flooding right up to the edge of the wooden planks. It was like straight out of Myst. And my dreams. And my childlike imagination, heh.
• I couldn't walk the whole thing 'cause it was flooded at some points. It was probably my most favoritest thing I saw all weekend.
• It's been raining all day. I think I'd be dead without Gerie's umbrella, heh.
• Speaking of death, some wet mudy parts of the wooden walkway were slippery as ice and since there were no rails, one slip up would be trouble. So I had to be careful.
• By the time I left the Frag Garden (if only it was really called that.) my legs were exhausted. I'd done a lot of walking.
• I debated taking the road home or heading to the animal park and then the alleged "boat launch" in hopes that there would be another road home from there. ('cause I thought I saw a sign stating that there was?)
• Asked myself if I was a "Planet Earth" photographer willing to risk it all for an awesome photo opportunity.....or a LITTLE BABY!??
• Decided I was a planet Earth photographer and went to the animal park. Could barely walk by the time I got there. So exhausted. Legs dying.
• Sat in the wooden tower to rest. Ate dollar store trail mix. Kwality.
• Stretched out after my search for the "Boat Launch." Thought I found it! But it was a trail to a sandy beach.
• Found a swamp boat!
• Walked shoreline hoping I'd find the boat launch. Shoreline ended. Had to cut a trail through thick forest and prickle bushes to get back to animal park road.
• Wondered if I'd make it or get eaten alive by forest.
• Made it.
• Found new trail and hoped it'd lead me to this mysterious "boat launch" which probably didn't exist.
• Walked forever.
• Rain and wind had picked up. Pantlegs were soaked. So tired....
• Suddenly realized I was on the other side of Thursday's "shortcut!" Realized my "shortcut" through the 7 foot tall weeds and knee deep ice cold stream was right between two solid perfectly good roads, both leading to the same place!
• I'm dumb.
• Decided the shortcut was worth the adventure anyway.
• FINALLY got back to town! Tromped back to the car exhausted, sore, and soaked.

--

• Just drank a caesar salad. Had no fork and didn't want to go get one so I just poured it into my mouth from the bag, haha.
• I'd felt sick from too many pringles and cheez-its, and salad was the only of which the thought didn't make me queasy.
• Supposed to meet Ger at 8:30am tomorrow so I'm going to try and sleep early tonight. For now, it's back to reading I guess.

BLINDSIDE
"The Color Of My Eyes"

Take back that photograph it breaks my heart
And I will wait by the telephone
While the silence pressures my eardrum
I found a black and white with a person smiling sad at me
Now I know can't get back that photograph once it's been seen

Promise you won't let me fall asleep never to wake up
Til my breath is gone don't let the color of my eyes fade
Promise you will find a way through the night while the angels cry
You color your heart blood red love does not fade away

Can't give back that photograph once it's been signed
And I can't stop thinking about your voice
Now it's keeping me up at night
I found myself on a black and white staring back at me
Now I know, can't get back that photograph
It just needs color

Promise you won't let me fall asleep never to wake up
Til my breath is gone don't let the color of my eyes fade
Promise you will find a way through the night while the angels cry
You color your heart blood red love does not fade away

Blood-drop on that black and white
Is the only thing that can colorize these non-colored eyes

Promise you won't let me fall asleep never to wake up
Til my breath is gone don't let the color of my eyes fade
Promise you will find a way through the night while the angels cry
You color your heart blood red love does not fade