Lanny was a bastard.

A man in my hometown died this week and a lot of people are saying he was a legend and giving him high praise. The man's name was Lanny. His death makes me wonder if other people knew a different Lanny than me, because in my experience, Lanny was a bastard. I wanted to post this on Facebook, but I figured it was a bad idea, since his family members and friends (if he truly had any) might see it and find it offensive. But I've got to get it out of my system, because I'm genuinely a bit upset, thinking about it all.

Lanny used to stay at our hotel because he was allegedly friends with the General Manager at the time. He always expected our biggest suite for free because of that reason, and he was always a pain to deal with.

Eventually, I became the GM of the hotel, and sure enough, along came Lanny. But there was a new sheriff in town and this sheriff was NOT about to give him our executive suite for free. Lanny settled on a regular room with a discounted rate. During his time with us, he brought in a bunch of his horrid children, and they made the weekend a nightmare. Here are some of the things they did just off the top of my head. There may have been more that I've forgotten, since this was a couple years ago.

They made a mess in the pool room, (we even found a muffin in the filter,) they argued with other guests, we got multiple noise complaints about their room, there was puke on the bed, a cigarette hole burned through the bed sheets (in their non-smoking room), the room itself was trashed, they hoarded way too much breakfast food, left a mess in the breakfast room, Lanny himself stayed in there way after its closing time, and finally, when I'd had enough, I asked him to leave and he never paid his bill. I said this man may never stay in our hotel again, and I put him on the 86'd list. He was unquestionably one of the worst guests I ever had.

The text of his gofundme page to help support his family doesn't say much about him other than that he was a legend, he helped people, he had a lot of charisma, and he could "make anyone feel like [they] were his best friend." I want to say that making people FEEL like they're his best friend is not the same as being a best friend. That is just called shmoozing, or "how to win friends and influence people" (which he failed to do with me), in order to get stuff he wanted. It's not a quality, it's a weapon.

Maybe he did help people. And maybe there was a side to him that I never got to see. My question is why? Why didn't I get to see it? Why did I have to watch him be a bastard and take advantage of me and my staff? I suppose somehow I will have to forgive the man, even after his death. And to those who knew him and are giving him high praise, perhaps you knew him differently, I don't know. But my message is this. In your time on this Earth and in your interactions with other people: Don't be like Lanny. Don't be a bastard. Treat people with kindness and respect. And don't do it to gain something in return or to ask favors like a free executive suite that you can trash. Do it for real, expecting nothing in return. That is how you can make best friends. Not make people FEEL like they're your best friend.

My apologies to anyone who may happen to stumble upon this and disagree with me. But that was my experience and I am going to try to treat people better than Lanny treated me. When I die, I really don't want to be remembered the way I remember him, and it does honestly break my heart that he didn't leave a better impression for me while he was alive. It's a shame. If anyone has any better stories about the man, or any redemptive qualities, I would be happy to hear them. Surely he had a good side? I'm sad that I never got to see it.

My Grandpa Bob

I had a conversation with my Grandpa Bob, this evening, about his time in the Navy during World War II. He was a junior in high school at the time, and he got his A-1 draft notice, so he and his friends decided to join the Navy rather than get sent off to Germany or someplace.

He got through the various stages of training camps and ended up on the coast of Louisiana I believe? He said it was terribly hot with endless mosquitoes, and then every day around 4pm, there would be sheets of heavy rain like you wouldn't believe.

Eventually, he was shipped out to Perry Island, which I believe is now Sarushima, Japan? Their luggage, however, was accidentally sent somewhere else, so they were left with just their carry bags. The island stationed people who were fleet replacements, and some of the guys had been waiting there for a year and a half, hoping a boat would come by and take them somewhere. He said it was very boring. They walked around, looked for seashells, and went swimming a lot, because there just wasn't anything to do there. It was only 14 feet above sea level, so some of the guys made jokes about tidal waves coming in and wiping them all out.

After that, he happened to make it onto a ship and went to Okinawa, Japan. The place they landed was the aftermath of a battlefield. One of the first things he saw was a couple of dead bodies that were rotting and had ribs sticking out. He said the smell of the place was unbelievable. It reminded him of a time when he was a kid and he used to walk to school. There was a farmer whose cow had died and was left lying there. So every time they walked to school, they smelled that rotting cow along the way.

There was a place there that had several tombs where the Japanese buried people. They had opened some of them up and mounted some guns in there so they could look out and shoot at the enemy. Grandpa Bob's brother-in-law was one of the men on a ship that had to fire back at them, and he said when they would fire into the tomb and there was the explosion, you could see the bodies of the Japanese people flying through the air like tiny rag dolls. The other thing my grandpa noted about the place is that there was ammunition littered all over the ground. Even live grenades. He assumes gear got too heavy so soldiers began shedding it as they went.

At one point they found a shelter that was covered in rubble and he found a Japanese bayonet that was stuck in the ground. A vehicle had come down carrying some American soldiers who had stumbled upon a booby trap and they were injured. One of the guys had some string with him, so Granpda Bob tied it to the bayonet and used that to pull it out of the ground from a distance, just in case it, too, was booby trapped. It wasn't, so he got himself a nice souvenir. He carried it for a long time until, unfortunately, his bag got x-rayed later at a checking point, and they confiscated it from him. I guess they weren't supposed to bring weapons home.

After that, they were shipped to Manila, in the Philippines. When they arrived, the town had been destroyed. The Japanese had wiped them out. The civilians there had all moved up into the hills. He said they were so hungry and the kids were all skinny with distended stomachs. He was certain they had to have parents somewhere, but the kids were all running around like they didn't belong to anybody. He said there was a civilian man who picked one of them up and pleaded in poor English grammar, something to the effect of, "Joe, please help us, you see my kids is hungry." My Grandpa Bob believed it to be some random kid, but the people were so desperate they would try anything. He said there were pesos and paper money scattered all over the ground. The Japanese had flown over and dumped them by the bundles because the Filipino economy was ruined and all the money was worthless to them now. My grandpa picked some of it up as a souvenir as well, but it, too, was lost somewhere along the way.

After that, they traveled on a flat bottom ship to the Subic Bay. Along the way, they saw a lot of monkeys and exotic animals. They had several petrified potatoes on-board the ship, so they threw them at the monkeys because... Well, because that's what young guys do, they like to throw things.

My memory is a little hazy about this part, but I believe this is when they rescued some Chinese soldiers and took them aboard the ship. There were a whole bunch of them in a ship about as expansive as a football field. Unfortunately, with its flat bottom on the wavy sea, it was so rough, that all the Chinese men got seasick and they ended up having to hose them all down and the whole floor, because there was so much vomit in there.

Eventually, they ended up sailing back home through Pearl Harbor. There were 13 of their ships sailing together in the fleet, and he said the worst part was when the storms hit. It would be daytime, but when they entered into the storm, it would be as black as night. The waves were 30 feet high, and he said it was like riding up and down hills the whole way. The worst place to be was up in the conning tower. He said you knew you were entering a storm when the ship would rock so violently that all the pots and pans in the galley would come crashing to the floor and get strewn out into the hallway, and the cook would be so mad, trying to gather them all back up.

On the topic of the ship's cook, my grandpa said it was a lousy job. They would have to be up at 4am, preparing to feed all the men. They would eat beans in the morning. He said one time, the cook had made these beans the night before, and he woke up that morning and set them out for the men when they would come in. Unfortunately, the electrician on board had messed with the wiring and somehow managed to reverse the polarity of the fan in the range hood, so rather than sucking up air through the vent, it blew it out. The cook turned it on, and it blew all the dust and debris from the vents out onto the beans and all into the kitchen. Grandpa said the cook had a temper, and he was so angry that he began punching a metal screen until his knuckles were bleeding.

Funny thing about the mess deck is, for some reason, the tables were designed to slide with the rocking of the waves. They were hooked to a spring, so they would slide over and the spring would pull them back. So the sailors would be sitting on the benches, which were fastened down, but then their table would slide out and they would have to hold onto their trays until the table came back to its position.

Over all, the war was a terrible experience at times, but he says he was fortunate that he never had to get into the heat of it. Most of the places he visited had already seen their fighting, and he only witnessed the aftermath.


This isn't a super high quality photo, but this is my Grandpa at a reunion with his shipmates. He's on the right in the navy blue polo and my Grandma Trudy is in the pink behind him.

Divorce Is The Worst

It's easy to act like my marriage is in the past, but sometimes I wonder if it will ever stop haunting me. A recent relationship crash brought about an awareness that I am still highly affected by the loss of my wife. And since that time, I have been plagued by reminders, particularly in these last few weeks.


This year I had to move out of the house we lived in, with the hopes of escaping some of the depression that loomed there. Way too many memories. But the process of moving required me to dig through a lot of old stuff, which wasn't a fun time. Even though I live in a new city now, I still get super depressed if I stay in that house for too long, when I'm visiting or working.





More recently, Netflix announced that a new Gilmore Girls season was in the works and would be released this year. That, paired with stumbling upon every Gilmore Girls DVD set when I was packing up, unearthed a lot of memories, because Gerie was extremely into the GG show for the longest time. I've probably seen every episode 10 times, whether I wanted to or not, just because she liked to have it playing in the background while she worked around the house.






Then I was contacted by her for the first time in maybe a couple years, because her name was on my truck loan, and the payment deadline was coming up, so they notified her. It was weird hearing from her again. So I paid off my truck, only to remember her name is also on the title, so I had to make arrangements with her to sign away her half of the ownership.




Then I found out she had recently replied to an old email from my sister-in-law last month, out of the blue, because she'd been going through old emails apparently, and for some reason decided to reply after three years.

And then my dog got out, and she contacted me again because her phone number was still on his collar and somebody had called her about it.

Then last night I happened upon a movie I hadn't seen in ages, which had strong emotional ties to my marriage, and that brought back a lot of memories.


Also last night, I had a vivid dream about getting back together with Gerie, because apparently in the dream, she hadn't married somebody else. And I awoke rather distraught.

Then today I stumbled upon a short film that, when I watched it, reminded me of what my whole marriage had felt like with surprising accuracy. Maybe I was reading into it, but nevertheless...

That's a lot of stuff to get hit with this year, after thinking it was all behind me. It would feel good if I could say everything was with great purpose and all these chaotic memories were resurfacing for a reason. But it's frustrating to think it's more likely just several painful coincidences and none of it means anything.

I am still grateful we don't have to share custody of children. I don't know how people cope with that. It sounds like more than I could bear. Divorce is the worst, man.

Nothing New Under The Sun

I've never asked a girl out. Most everything I've done in my life, in regards to socializing, has been passive, reluctant, apathetic, or any other such adjectives that aren't synonymous with putting myself out there.

I dated a girl for a year when I was about twenty years old. But we met through a church event and the way we began hanging out together was through other friends of ours. I never directly asked her.

I had a couple long distance female friends with whom I talked online, but nothing came of it. It was just long distance conversing.

Eventually I got married, but even that girl was one with whom I worked, and I never actually "asked" her out. She bailed on me a couple years ago, which was very sad.

Afterwards, I was determined to be done with it all until I happened upon a girl who knocked all my walls down. It's not that I was opposed to the idea of another girl in my life, I just didn't see how it could be a good decision. But she thwarted all the arguments I'd made with myself. Everything I had feared about ever having a relationship again was put to rest.

So for the first time in my 28 years on this planet, I directly extended an invitation to her. I feel it's safe to say, it was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I mean, I knew I had insecurities, but they've never been so apparent as when I made this offer. It was terrifying.

I'm not so concerned about rejection. I've been shut down and had girls walk out on me enough times in my life that I've grown accustomed to it. It's mostly fear that she might not like me and be put in the tough spot of either politely telling me no or else saying yes and hating every moment of it. And I know how awkward it is to be in that spot. I've had girls ask me out when I really wasn't interested. It's an unpleasant position to be in and it pains me to think I may have put her there. But I have no idea how to let her know I would enjoy hanging out with her, other than to set the offer on the table.

Anyway, it's done now. No take-backsies. Yes, it could blow up in our faces. But it could also mean we'll have a lot of fun. Can't know unless we take the plunge.

And thus ends a post about the same experience all people have struggled with since the beginning of time. I'm just a people having a hard time with typical people things. But onward we march, regardless of the trials.

That's all.

Google Cam Cinema

What if you made an interactive short film with a Google Street View style camera, where the viewer could freely look around through the entire movie. It would be like one of the cut scenes from Metal Gear 4 where you can drive the little robot cam around as the guys in the station have a conversation. Except this would be live action.

You would have to have one man on camera, and all the mics would need to be internalized somehow, so no boom operators. No crew of any kind, really, since all angles need to be visible. The director would probably have to be the camera man.

Obviously the cinematography would be limited, and mostly left up to the viewer. You could cut between shots and scenes, and even camera placement, but angles would be in the audience' hands. For the sake of avoiding disorientation, it would probably be best to have one continuous camera shot per scene.

The camera, of course, would have to shoot video and link every angle in every frame together pretty seamlessly for looking around. It might take quite a bit of processing power to stream it all at once. And you would need some type of software to run it, with controls for looking around, for playing, pausing, stopping, rewinding, and fast-forwarding, etc. It would also probably need a pre-recorded auto-pilot mode that looks around for the audience, if nobody wants to control the camera.

It's likely too much work with too little reward right now, but maybe someday.


Edit: Wow, it's actually happened. Not a feature film, but the camera does exist!

Characters vs. Actors

Do you ever see characters in TV or movies that you really like, but when you see interviews of the actor or see them play other roles, it kind of ruins it for you?

For example, I really like Chris Hemsworth playing Thor. The beard, the hair, the voice, the mannerisms--but when I see him in other roles, I get rather bored with it. I can't take him as seriously. I think it's due, in part, to the fact that he looks like a college student. Thor looks like he wants to rule a kingdom. Hemsworth looks like he wants to attend a frat party.

This one is pretty obvious, but I found Ledger's characterization of The Joker to be much more fascinating than any of his other roles. The Joker had such a charm and twisted charisma that he made Ledger's other performances bland by comparison.

The role of the 10th Doctor gave David Tennant so much freedom to take what I think is his own natural personality, and magnify it to almost caricature-like levels of himself. He was allowed to switch fluidly between his goofball delightfulness and his doomed-Earth seriousness at any given moment. His hair had a mind of its own. His fashion style was silly yet debonair. To me, seeing Tennant in his other roles is like watching watered-down versions of the Doctor.

I don't actually mind Rainn Wilson as an actor or as himself--but it feels, to me, like Dwight Schrute has far more depth to his personality than Wilson has. There are so many absurd levels of Schrute, from his nerdiness, to his dedication to agriculture and tradition, to his delusions of grandeur with karate, police work, protocols and love-making, and even to his day-to-day cartoonish antics. Rainn Wilson is an intelligent level-headed guy, but Dwight Schrute is an entire complex and interesting world of personality.


This, I believe, is what actors should be about. Inventing characters that people want to watch. Even if a story is bland, solid characters really help to give it some life. But even an awesome story can be ruined by bad to mediocre characterization.

"Clouds" by As Cities Burn

Is your love really Love?
Is my love really Love?
I think our love isn't Love,
Unless it's Love to the end.

Is your god really God?
Is my god really God?
I think our god isn't God,
If he fits inside our heads.

Stranger Danger

By Brian Bridges

Chapter 1

    The company’s New Years Eve party was in full swing. Jack had never felt better. It was as if his life was finally taking a positive turn. Up until now, things hadn’t been in his favour. Adopted by abusive parents, out on his own by the age of 16, no known family anywhere, and anybody he considered to be friends had come and gone, usually taking a piece of him each time. It wasn’t until he got hired on with this company that he met some people who truly seemed to care about him. Honest people who were not just looking out for themselves. Being around them gave him a sense of security and made him feel like he was a part of something. It was a welcome change from his lonely and isolated past. A welcome change indeed...

    “Jack, catch!” Jack looked up to see his co-worker, William, tossing a peanut his way. Instinctively Jack went to catch it in his mouth, but it hit him in the cheekbone and bounced under a chair. The group laughed and William tossed one to the next person. William was studying to be a psych major. He insisted his name only be pronounced William, rather than Will or Bill, because William sounded more professional. He wanted people to take him seriously when he took on his career in psychology. He was also Jack’s new closest friend. William and Jack had just clicked when Jack started working with him, and it wasn’t long before they were hanging out on weekends, playing video games or playing pool at the local sports bars.

    “Mind if I sit down?” Jack looked up again. It was Miss Melody Belle Leary. Jack’s heart skipped, “Hey! Yeah, sure! When did you get here?”

    “Just now. Have I missed anything?”

    “Nothing yet,” Jack smiled.

    “Careful, Jack,” William cut in, “She’s quite a catch! I hope you have better luck with her than you do with peanuts!” A few people laughed.

    “Peanuts?” Melody gave Jack a smiling quizzical glance. Jack was embarrassed.

    “Hah. It’s nothing. How are you?”

    Melody Belle Leary started working at the company about the same time as Jack. She was, he believed, the prettiest girl he had ever met. Over the course of their working together, they had gone on a couple outings with co-workers, but Jack hadn’t worked up the courage, yet, to ask her out on an official date. However, he had been planning it for a week now, and told himself tonight would be the night. ...Maybe.

    As the evening went on, the co-workers played games, watched some TV, ate food, and did all the usual party activities. The countdown eventually began and the corks flew at midnight. Jack felt like he finally had a real family.

    It wasn’t until around 1:00am that people started leaving. Jack and Melody were walking to their cars and with one deep breath, he summoned up all of his courage.

    “See you later, Melody!”

    “Yeah, later, Jack!”

    “...Hey! Erm--actually--so are you doing anything tomorrow night? Or I guess tonight, technically? The night of January 1st?”

    Melody smiled, “Nope, no plans. Why?”

    Jack tried to keep his voice from wavering, “I don’t know. Do you wanna do something? Dinner maybe? I know Brad, the manager at Amedeo’s Italian Cuisine. If you like Italian, that is. Yeah? No?”

    Melody showed no sign of hesitation, which was a relief, “Yeah! Yeah, that’d be fun.”

    “Cool. When would you like to meet?”

    “Whenever. Just text me.”

    “Okay,” Jack started walking backwards to his car, and gave a wave, “I’ll see you then, then!”

    “Yeah, see you then!” Melody waved back, and each turned to go their separate ways. Jack smiled and made a joyful hop off the curb before getting in his car.

    The thoughts of Melody and dinner that night were the only things that kept his mood up driving home. The night sky was a hazy gray, with no stars, no moon. The air was thick with fog and cold as ice. This was the part Jack hated most. Leaving his friends--his family--behind. It was always hard. Even leaving work each day was a challenge. His life alone at home was dreary. His neighborhood was sketchy. His house was run down. There was little or nothing to look forward to at the end of each day.

Jack let out a sigh.

Chapter 2

“You look nice!” Jack said, greeting Melody at the restaurant. It was an understatement. She looked amazing.

“Thanks! You too.” She said, stepping up onto the sidewalk in her green dress and tan jacket. Her arms were clasped together, purse in one hand, and she let out a shiver. Jack was quick to open the door for her.

“I’ve never been here!” She said.

“It’s one of my favourite places. I come here at least every other week, I think.”

Jack led the way up to the bar counter, ignoring the, “Wait to be seated” sign.

    “There’s Mac,” He said, then hollered out to the man behind the counter, above the noise of the crowd, “Hey Mac!” The tall bald man stood upright and turned around to face them.

    “Oh...” Jack stammered, “Sorry--I thought you were someone else!”

    “No worries.” The man said. Jack felt a little silly now. The man looked just like his usual bartender from behind. Jack tried to steer around the awkward moment, “Would you like to sit at a booth? That’s probably best, huh?”

    “Sure, yeah,” Melody smiled, “Whatever you want is fine.”

    Jack waited for a greeter to approach and let her direct them to an empty booth. When their waitress finally came he said, “Hey, are Brad or Mac working tonight?”

    The waitress replied, “Uhh--Sorry, who?”

    “Brad? The manager?”

    “Oh. Sorry, I don’t know. Umm--I’m kind of new here. Would you like me to find out for you?”

    “No, no. It’s fine. He usually gives me a discount, but it’s no big deal.” Again, Jack felt silly. They placed their orders and began talking about work, and recapping the New Year’s party, and eventually got into more personal things such as their likes and dislikes, hobbies, and amusing anecdotes. Jack was just starting to feel like the date was going well when he suddenly knocked over his drink. It ran across the table and right into Melody’s lap! She let escape a suppressed scream and quickly moved to the very edge of the booth’s seat.

    “Whoa!” Jack exclaimed, frantically looking for a solution, “I’m so sorry!”

    “It’s fine,” Melody said, reassuringly. They managed to get it all dabbed up and resume their evening, but by this time Jack felt so embarrassed and insecure, he could scarcely enjoy himself. It was one of the only times he looked forward to going home. Here he was, trying to make a good impression, trying to show her he had connections, trying to be a cool guy. Instead, he had mistaken a stranger, made himself look like a cheapskate, and also come across as a clutz. Awesome. What a wonderful first date.

    They finally left and Jack sulked all the way home.

Chapter 3

    It was a new day. Perhaps a second chance. Jack’s spirits had risen from the night before. Things would get better from here.

He had gotten up early but still managed to be a couple minutes late for work. Fortunately he didn’t have to open that morning. He walked inside and made his way to his desk.

    “Morning, Paul.” He said to the man in the lobby as he passed by. The man turned to look at him.

    “Excuse me?” He said politely. Jack jumped.

    “Sorry! I thought you were my co-worker.”

    “Sure, maybe if you worked here.” The man replied.

    Jack was a little confused and just assumed it was a joke. He gave a polite laugh as he walked into the back room. What on Earth? What a strange coincidence, to have this happen twice in less than 24 hours. This man, too, looked just like his co-worker from behind. The face also had a similar resemblance, but it was off. It was not as symmetrical as Paul’s.

    “What’s up, McJackerson!” William said as Jack walked over to his desk. It was ironic that William called everybody by nicknames since he insisted they use his full name.

    “How was the d-a-t-e?” He spelled out each letter.

    “Kill me.” Jack said, “Just get it over with.”

    “That good, huh?” William grinned.

    “That good. It was humiliating.”

    “What happened?”

    Jack let himself drop bonelessly into his office chair, “I went in trying to be date savvy, and came across as awkward, a cheapskate, and a clutz.”

    “Ouch.” William grimaced, “I told you it was too early. You’ve gotta build up some self-confidence first, man! You’re so down on yourself all the time, and looking for fulfillment in a girl isn’t the answer.”

    Sometimes William’s studying to be a psych major made him annoying. Not really. But he did tend to give out lots of advice as to how people should behave and what was wrong with them--even if they never asked his opinion.

    “I know,” Jack said, “And I think you ought to diagnose yourself for once and realize you’re crazy. A girl like this comes once in a lifetime, and I’m not going to lose her just to ‘figure out who I am’.”

    “Suit yourself,” William said, “But don’t say I didn’t warn you! I think you should just let her go, swear off girls for a while, and decide what you want to do with your life.”

    Jack let the conversation end there, and turned to get some work done. William was fun to hang out with, but when it came to girls, he was kind of a killjoy.

    Jack didn’t talk to Melody that day, since work was very busy for some reason. It was unexpected so soon after the New Year. The other odd thing was Jack kept seeing that man around the workplace, the one who looked like Paul. Was he really working there? Why hadn’t anybody mentioned it? In all the busyness, Jack didn’t remember to ask about it, but he wondered on the way home that afternoon.

    He sulked again on the gloomy drive back to his house. William’s advice on letting go of Melody just made him grumpy. This was supposed to have been a good day.

Chapter 4

Since his contact with Melody was null that day, he decided to call her up after dinner. He was still in a dull mood from the date and his conversation with William. Melody’s voice appeared on the other line, “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Jack.” He said.

“Hey, Jack. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. We didn’t get to talk today and I just thought I’d see how you were.”

“Oh, uhh--I’m fine. How are you?”

“Fine,” Jack said with a sigh, “I’m bummed that I made last night kind of lame.”

“What? You didn’t have a good time?”

“Yeah, I did, I just--I don’t know. It was a little embarrassing, I guess.”

Melody laughed, “Oh, you mean the drink? Don’t worry about it, it was an accident!”

“I still feel dumb.”

“What can we do to cheer you up?” Melody asked, “Do you want to come over? Maybe we can make up for last night. We could watch a movie or something?

Suddenly Jack’s mood brightened, “For real? Yeah! I mean, sure, that’d be great!”

“Okay, just give me like twenty minutes to get ready. Do you want to just watch something on streaming, or rent a movie?”

“Whatever, streaming I guess.” Jack didn’t want to waste any time running errands.

“Cool, I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Okay, see you.”

    Twenty minutes felt more like an hour to Jack. He quickly grabbed his things and jumped in the car. He had been to Melody’s house once before when he gave her a lift to work, since her car had been in the shop. It was only about five or six minutes from where he lived.

    Upon his arrival, he dashed up the stairs to her apartment and gave a couple knocks on the door. There was no answer. He rang the doorbell. Footsteps sounded inside. The door opened and Jack was very surprised to see a young lady wearing pajamas. She looked similar to Melody but not nearly as pretty.

    “May I help you?” The lady asked.

    “Uhh--” Jack gave a glance past her into the house, “Is Melody here?”

    “Who?”

    “Melody? She invited me over to watch a movie?”

    “I’m sorry,” The lady said, “You must have the wrong place.”

    Jack gave her a confused look, “Umm--I don’t think so. Apartment 23, right? I’ve picked her up for work from here.”

    “I’m sorry,” The lady said again, “There is no Melody that lives here.”

    Jack pulled out his phone, “Hold on, let me call her real quick...” He quickly navigated to her name in the recent calls list and hit send. There was a pause and he heard the dial tone. Suddenly a ringtone sounded from the pocket of the lady’s pajamas! She pulled her phone out and answered it. Jack heard her voice say hello two times, once in front of him, and once through the receiver of his phone.

    “Uhh--” Jack stammered again, “Why do you have Melody’s phone?”

    The lady, hearing his voice both in person and through her own receiver, looked up at him with a surprised and hostile expression, “Is this a joke? How did you get my number?” She said.

    “This isn’t your number, it’s Melody’s. I just talked to her like twenty minutes ago.”

    The lady backed up a ways and said, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Jack stepped forward to glance in through the doorway and said in a raised voice, “Melody? Real funny, Mel!”

    “Sir, leave now, or I’m calling the police.” The lady shut the door in his face. Jack stood there speechless and confused. Was it a practical joke? It had to be...

    He waited around for quite some time until he got too cold and went to his car. Another 15 minutes and he decided to give it up and go home. If it was a practical joke, he wasn’t laughing.

Chapter 5

    Any annoyance Jack had with William was gone. Right now he was his best friend and Jack needed to make sense out of things. Maybe they could go out for late-night beers and drink away this crappy day. It was already late, but Jack didn’t care. William probably wasn’t in bed anyway. He slumped onto the couch and scrolled through his contacts. Reaching William’s name, he hit send.

    A voice sounded on the other end, “Hello?”

    “Dude, so the weirdest thing just happened. I called Melody since it was so busy today and we didn’t get a chance to talk--And she asked if I wanted to come over and see a movie. So I...”

    The voice on the other end cut him off, “I’m sorry, who am I speaking to?”

    Jack held his phone up in front of him and checked the contact. It was William’s name and photo. He put the phone back to his ear and said, “It’s Jack.”

    “I’m sorry?” The voice said, “Jack who?”

    “Jack Small. Did you lose your phone contacts?”

    “I’m sorry, I do not know a Jack Small. You have the wrong number.” The voice said and hung up.

    Jack sat there, bewildered at first, and then annoyed. Why would they plan to do this? It was a dumb joke. What, were they in high school now or something? He called William back. The same voice answered, “Hello?”

    “It’s not funny anymore, dude.” Jack said, “Sorry, but I’m just not in the mood right now.”

    “Who is this?” The voice said.

    “It’s your mother! Just hand William the phone already!”

    “Please stop calling me,” Said the voice, and hung up again.

    Jack gave up. It wasn’t worth it. If they wanted to play stupid games, he wouldn’t give them the pleasure of his cooperation. He tossed his phone down, got up, and went to bed.

Chapter 6

    The next morning, Jack was determined to have a better day! ...After he told off his co-workers for their lame prank, that is. He got in his car and drove to work. The sky was bluer this morning than it had been all week. There were even some puffy clouds, which was unusual for Winter in the city. It was still cold, but the colour seemed to give at least a bit of cheer to the day.

    Jack parked his car in his usual spot and got out. He went through the employee door and rounded the corner. He was about to greet the secretary, Linda, when he abruptly froze. It wasn’t her. This new woman had the same colour hair, and same style clothing, but the face was wrong, just as with the other mistaken identities he’d seen lately.

    “What--is going on?” Jack said, staring at her.

    “May I help you?” The woman asked.

    “Where’s Linda?” Jack replied, still frozen in place.

    “Who?”

    “Linda! The secretary!” Jack was growing impatient with this whole thing--and admittedly a little frightened.

    “I’m sorry, there’s no Linda here. Are you sure you’re at the right place?”

    “Yes, I’m sure I’m at the right place!” Jack said and stormed past her into the back room. He heard her protests calling behind him that, “He wasn’t allowed back there.”

    As he proceeded to his desk, he looked around and was stopped, yet again. Where was everybody? Every single person in the back room resembled one of his co-workers, but they were all different people. “Okay!” Jack finally shouted into the air, directing his remarks to no one in particular, “It’s a really funny joke! Hahah! Good one, guys! You can come out now!”

    The back room went silent and everybody was staring at him.

    “William?” Jack shouted, “Melody, Paul, David, I’m fooled, okay? You got me!”

    Nothing. One of the people, the one who resembled David the sales engineer, approached him, “Sir, you’re not supposed to be back here.”

    “Oh really? ‘Cause I’ve been working here for six months now.” Jack said, sarcastically.

    “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    “Yeah, I’ll get right on that,” Jack replied and walked through the next doorway to his desk. He was halted, once more, as he stared at the man sitting in his chair. It was him. A bad impersonation of his own self. Jack walked up to him, “I would like to have my chair back, thanks.”

    “Who are you?” the fake-Jack asked, looking up.

    “I’m the real Jack, and I would like my chair back now.”

    The fake-David approached from behind, “Sir, if you don’t leave now, I’m going to call the police.”

    “Good!” Jack spun around and exclaimed, “Call the police! Let them sort this out!”

Fake-David was already dialing on the nearest phone, looking at Jack out of the corner of his eye, “Hello?” He said, “Could you please send an officer over to 247 W. Tanner Street? There is a man here making a scene and we would like him removed from the premises.”

    He proceeded to give dispatch the standard information they requested and Jack stood there, arms crossed in a defensive position. The fake-Jack had slid the chair back a ways to get some distance between them.

    It wasn’t but a couple minutes before two officers arrived. Jack was sitting in a chair in the lobby when they walked in.

    “We got a call about somebody making a scene?” The first officer said.

Fake-David and fake-Jack immediately came into the lobby, “He’s right over there,” fake-David said, “He keeps going on about how he works here, and refused to leave when we asked him.”

The officer approached Jack, “What’s your name, sir?”

“Jack Small.”

“Do you have any ID on you, Jack?”

Jack pulled out his wallet and handed his license to the officer, who looked it over.

“Jack, if these people have asked you to leave, you need to leave. Otherwise you’re trespassing.”

“I work here!” Jack said, “I’ve worked here for six months, my desk is right in the back room there, and something really weird is going on! All of these people look like my co-workers, but none of them are. I wanted to believe it was some crazy practical joke, but it’s not like my friends to let things go this far. I don’t know what’s going on.”

“Do you have any proof that you currently work here? Any documents, anybody to vouch for you?”

“Probably, yes!” Jack said, walking into the back, “Check with bookkeeping or something, I should have tax forms with my name on them or paycheck stubs, or something!”

The officer requested for the search, which was granted, but they found no mention anywhere of Jack’s name. Jack went to his desk to look for personal effects but there were none. Only photos of fake-Jack with his fake-coworkers.

With no sign of his belonging there, Jack was escorted off the premises. He walked, bewildered and fearful, to his car and just sat inside for quite some time.

“I need a doctor,” He finally said to himself, “I must be losing my mind. Maybe I’m dreaming. Maybe I’ve gone crazy.”

Jack started up the car and pulled out of his parking space. Was it his parking space? He didn’t know anymore.

Chapter 7

    It took about ten minutes to get to the walk-in clinic. Jack came here on a semi-regular basis for check-ups. His foster parents, emotionally abusive though they were, did care about physical health and had instilled in him a habit of keeping up with regular exams.

    Inside, Jack walked up to the counter, “I’m here to see Dr. Luttmer. I don’t have an appointment.”

    The secretary paused as she scanned her computer for a moment, “umm--I’m sorry,” She said, “I don’t have a Dr. Luttmer here.”

    “Do you know when he’ll be back?” Jack asked.

    “No,” Said the lady, “What I mean is, I don’t have a Dr. Luttmer in my system. No one works here by that name.”

    Jack’s skin began to crawl. Without a word, he turned slowly and walked away towards the exit doors. The world suddenly started to feel a whole lot bigger and a whole lot colder. He pulled out his phone and started dialing everybody in the contacts. Old friends, acquaintances, people from his childhood, even people he didn’t like. None of them responded to their contact names, and none of them knew Jack. Finally Jack dialed up one last resort. His own mother, whom he hadn’t talked to in maybe six or seven years.

    A voice answered, “Hello?”

    “Mom? This is Jack.”

    “I’m sorry, who is this?”

    “Jack. Your son.”

    “You must have the wrong number. I don’t have a son named Jack.”

    The phone lowered. His thumb slowly hit the ‘end’ button. His eyes stared ahead at nothing. His mind was spinning and his heart was racing. Perhaps it was some cruel trick from God. Perhaps he had really lost his mind. He didn’t know. Whatever the case...

He was alone.