I've never asked a girl out. Most everything I've done in my life, in regards to socializing, has been passive, reluctant, apathetic, or any other such adjectives that aren't synonymous with putting myself out there.I dated a girl for a year when I was about twenty years old. But we met through a church event and the way we began hanging out together was through other friends of ours. I never directly asked her.
I had a couple long distance female friends with whom I talked online, but nothing came of it. It was just long distance conversing.
Eventually I got married, but even that girl was one with whom I worked, and I never actually "asked" her out. She bailed on me a couple years ago, which was very sad.
Afterwards, I was determined to be done with it all until I happened upon a girl who knocked all my walls down. It's not that I was opposed to the idea of another girl in my life, I just didn't see how it could be a good decision. But she thwarted all the arguments I'd made with myself. Everything I had feared about ever having a relationship again was put to rest.
So for the first time in my 28 years on this planet, I directly extended an invitation to her. I feel it's safe to say, it was one of the scariest things I have ever done. I mean, I knew I had insecurities, but they've never been so apparent as when I made this offer. It was terrifying.
I'm not so concerned about rejection. I've been shut down and had girls walk out on me enough times in my life that I've grown accustomed to it. It's mostly fear that she might not like me and be put in the tough spot of either politely telling me no or else saying yes and hating every moment of it. And I know how awkward it is to be in that spot. I've had girls ask me out when I really wasn't interested. It's an unpleasant position to be in and it pains me to think I may have put her there. But I have no idea how to let her know I would enjoy hanging out with her, other than to set the offer on the table.
Anyway, it's done now. No take-backsies. Yes, it could blow up in our faces. But it could also mean we'll have a lot of fun. Can't know unless we take the plunge.
And thus ends a post about the same experience all people have struggled with since the beginning of time. I'm just a people having a hard time with typical people things. But onward we march, regardless of the trials.
That's all.
